Other arms reach out to me
Other eyes smile tenderly
Still in peaceful dreams I see
The road leads back to you..”

Some days there is someone or something I just can’t get out of my head. I try to fight it… I try to move along and forget about it. Sometimes it would be much simpler, or easier if I was able to do that. I would be able to spend that time wondering, worrying or caring about something else…. But I have thought that maybe I should stop fighting it.

Maybe I should go with where my heart and head are telling me to go. Perhaps there is a reason I can’t get certain things out of my mind. Despite any amount of distractions or alternatives I may try… I always come back to the same things. Maybe that is where I belong. Maybe I should stop fighting myself, trying to do what I am “supposed to do” and do what my heart truly wants… go where I want to go. Maybe that is where peace is… in what my heart wants.

- J

Yeah you have become
Yeah you have become beautiful…”

Know what you deserve out of your life and go get it, look in the mirror and realize how beautiful and special you are. Then allow the world the opportunity to witness and experience you for all that you are. Do not hide behind social norms, crass sarcasm or excuses. Instead, open up for the entire world to see. Take a leap of faith and hope to God you can fly. Sometimes we hide for so long, that we can’t see or even remember beautiful we have become… maybe it’s time we had a look.

- J

There is a certain beauty to innocence, an alluring characteristic to ignorance, and an addicting property to irresponsibility. But as we ”grow up” there is an expectation to maintain a certain level of maturity and dignity. There is a social expectation that we must act proper, keep a calm demeanor and avoid “childish” actions. Our jobs, our family, our lives seem to demand that we act “grown up”. There is no room for error, for fun or spontaneity because we have obligations to fulfill, asses to kiss, and moral standards to uphold (often not our own).

Growing up is something to cringe at in our society. Bills, stress, jobs, school…. they all suck. For most of us, we forget to enjoy life because we are too busy being adults.  We forget to play with LEGO’s, we forget to sit on a swing in the park to see how high we can go, and we forget who we really are. I want to challenge everyone who reads this to do something fun. Not because you need to, or have to… but because you want to do it. Forget what other people will think, throw caution to the wind for a moment and do something just for the hell of it. Don’t let growing up take something that is yours. Don’t get so caught up in being “grown up” that you forget to live life.

- J

Hidden deep inside our souls, trapped and kept in darkness is a part of each of us. We all have an ugly side, a demon or a tormentor that we bury. It haunts us, stalking quietly behind our façade. Some are tormented by their past, others haunted by their future. There are those paralyzed by their fears, while a few are crippled by their own actions. Each of us possesses an “ugly side” as well as a beautiful side. That is humanity, good and evil blended into one. We hope the good outweighs the bad inside of us… and we pray our beauty will outshine the dark in our heart. But that dark side does exist and we cannot deny it. We must find a way to love one another in spite of our imperfections, and our flaws. Or, love each other because of our imperfections. Appreciate the ugly side of humanity, because without it… Well, without our ugly side, our beauty would cease to matter at all.

-J

Your not alone
There’s more to this I know
You can make it out
You will live to tell

She’s just like him
Spoiled rotten, confused by the lies shes been fed
Shes searching for no one (but herself)
Her eyes turn to green and she seems to be happy that she is her
And this time I think you’ll know

Your not alone
There is more to this I know
You can make it out
You will live to tell

Your not alone
There is more to this I know
You can make it out”

Hundreds, thousands, or even millions of people surround us every day. Most likely, we talk to at least one or two (if not much more). We see tall, short, fat, skinny, white, black, rich, poor… we aren’t alone. So why do we sometimes feel like we are the only ones on the entire planet? Why is it that some days it seems like scream until our lungs burst, and no one would hear a sound? Even if we’re surrounded by family, friends, co workers… we still can feel as if we are alone.

Do we make ourselves feel that way? Is it a way to protect ourselves from the pain of relationships? Perhaps we alienate ourselves from the world around us. Telling ourselves that no one else can possibly understand what we have going on, or that no one would care to know. Maybe that is why we feel so alone at times.

Do other people alienate us? Is it other people, the people that we interact with every single day, cutting us out? Do they ignore us? Do they want us to feel all alone? They don’t hold doors, they don’t say good morning… maybe they hate us.

Or are we just too damn messed up to know? Maybe the that is the truth. Maybe we get so wrapped up in ourselves that we feel alone. Focus on me, me and me… and we forget to acknowledge the man sitting next to us on the bus. We worry so much about our woman leaving us, our co-worker hating us, or a stranger not smiling back that we alienate ourselves. We push away our spouse, we subconsciously avoid the people we work with, we become the stranger that doesn’t smile back. Maybe we are so screwed up that we forget. We forget to appreciate what we have, and we start living scared.

I would venture to say that we are never alone… unless we choose to be. It is a vicious cycle, but you aren’t alone. If you feel that way, there really is more to life. All we have to do is find it.

- J